When Bears Attack!

Bears. Possibly the deadliest creature ever. They can run at 35 mph, can smell you from over a mile away, and can bring mass destruction to all humanity if they please; and I'll show you how to defend yourself against such a powerful adversary! I assume that if you are viewing this blog then you are not a master of karate or other manly or womanly defense arts. Bears are omnivores, which means they eat both veggies and meat. Which means they might get a taste for human flesh; and if you run into that bear that wants you in his/her belly, here is what you do:



You want to be a terror to bears everywhere. You want them to tell tales of your bravery and intensity.


Don't let them push you around. You are a man (or woman). We invented the wheel and harnessed the power of fire. We can fight back against the bear menace.

Step 1) Avoid bears. If you see a bear keep a 300ft distance from them and go far around. If they get close make calm noises but stand tall. When in a bear infested area be loud while walking through the bear zone.
2) It is best not to carry around food with you. While not all bears are after your flesh they might be after your food; and your demise.
3) If you are attacked by polar bears or grizzly bears, go fetal for a few minutes so that the bears can leave the vicinity. Or if you have a gun shoot the bear to heck.
4) If you are against a black bear, fight back. Go for the nose. Give it all you got, make a spear or punch it straight in  the face. Make the bears fear your very essence.
5) Go home alive.

Next blog will be about something so dangerous that 60% of the time, they will kill you ALL the time.